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Hari ini
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Recently, I took up an invitation to train a group of Special Needs kids dikir for a Maulidul Rasul performance. It was with some representatives from the NUS Female Dikir team. In view of the part time stint, no payment was asked and it was done with sincerity.
I came highly motivated in wanting to reach out to a group of kids that I have never directly handle and to do my little bit for them. But somehow the first training left a somewhat negative first impression, not with the kids, their enthusiasm was wonderful, but with some of the representatives from the school: the administration to be exact. I shant divulge what exactly happened, but all I can say is that as a person receiving someone who is performing a service for his/her charges, due clarity and honesty is needed so as to avoid miscommunication or a lack of professionalism. So because of that for the next 2 weeks, I left the kids alone, leaving them to their teachers, and for the final week I left them to one of the female trainers, who called me up at home and told me that she needed help. That was a day before the performance.
I’m ashamed cos it took me that point to realise that in reacting to a lack of professionalism by the school’s administration, I myself reacted with a distinct lack of professionalism. Nevermind if it was for free, nevermind if the the liaising person was not clear and concise in his instructions; I have inevitably left the kids alone to fend for themselves. Where is that supposed stoical sense of responsibility that some of my friends claim that I have. Where is that want to help whenever I’m able, come what may.
Perhaps I’ve been so incensed with the ineptness in current batches that I grew cynical and critical at every little thing, but do the kids deserve the slight? Hell no man.
I’m ashamed thus for allowing myself to be misdirected by the nitty gritties and indirectly be blinded away from the greater good.
Shame on me.
Pada dahulu kala, ada beberapa ekor kera muda yang memulakan perjalanan mereka ke sebuah destinasi baru.
Sebelum itu, mereka diberikan duit dan diberikan nasihat dan tunjuk ajar oleh kera2 tua yang telah melalui perjalanan tersebut sebelumnya, dengan harapan harta pusaka dan nasihat pujangga yang diturunkan akan diambil buat pedoman.
Matlamat ada, semangat ada, maka mulalah perjalanan mereka, melaung perwira, mendabik dada, semangat membara.
Kera-kera muda ini, kera moden, ada ‘handphone’, ada wifi.
Satu hari, beberapa ketuanya menerima panggilan dari kera yang lama yang bertanya, ‘Kera2 sudahkah kamu merancang dengan baik intisari dan arah tujuan mu?’
Si kera muda lancang menjawab, ‘Kamu menanya saya tentang bagaimana hendak merancang? Saya? Teraju unggul sekian alam?’
(Baiklah nak, suka hati ko, asalkan jangan tidak endah nasihat hamba sua)
1 bulan pun berlalu, si kera muda mula berbelanja dengan sewenangnya-wenangnya, mula hilang arah tujuan, namun sifat bongkak masih ada, hidung tinggi, setinggi-tinggi singapore flyer.
Kera tua menalipon sekali lagi,”Semua ok nak? Arah tuju? Ada masalah? Kami sudi menolong”.
Masih dengan nada gagah,”Adalah masalah sikit, tapi bukan salah kita, barang di sinilah mahal sangat, dan tempat nya terlalu gelap, tak nampak mana kita pergi. Tapi semua ok, jangan khuatir.”
(Hai si kera muda ini, asal cari alasan yang lain? Tak akan la satu benda pun bukan salah mereka sendiri? Ada ke tidak nasihat kita diambil? hhmmm……)
2 bulan berlalu, kini si kera2 muda sudah dihampir penghujung nyawa mereka, duit hampir lesap, tenaga makin berkurang.
Si kera tua menalipon lagi,”Kami risau, ada apa yang boleh dibantu. Maaf kerana terkasar kadang2, atau tertajam sangat marahnya, tetapi apa nak buat kalau cakap dengan baik, nasihat dengan baik, tak masuk diajar? Kami ingin tolong, kalau ada masalah beritahulah, kami hanya mahu yang terbaik.”
Meraka menjawab, separuh ‘defensive’, separuh pasti,”Hmmmm, semua ok. Jangan khuatir. Sambutlah kami ketika pulang nanti ye.”
(hmmmm… alhamdullilah, semuanya nampak baik)
Maka pulanglah mereka.
Tinggal setengah sahaja. Yang termuda, lemah lesu dek harus mengangkat beg2 yang lebih tua sedikit dari mereka. Dan bagi yang tua sedikit hanya segilintir yang masih meneraju. Duit sudah habis, perjalanan sudah tamat, tetapi matlamat telah lama hilang ditelan kedegilan diri yang menyalahkan semua orang kecuali dirinya, yang membina tipu helah bahawa semua ‘fine and dandy’ padahal dibawahnya kemelut membara.
Si tua, menggelengkan kepala.
(Nasihat telah diberi, tatkala diberikan dengan baik, tatkala diberikan dengan sindiran, tatkala diberikan dengan tajam duri, namun masih tak jalan juga? Nak buat apa lagi eh? Tangan dihulur, ditolak pergi. Time and support given, we were shown mediocrity. Riches and resources given, spent through whim and fancy. Concern shown, we were replied all fine and dandy.)
(Ye la tu nak. BODOH SOMBONG tak bertempat. Gasak kau la eh, da besar panjang, masuk telinga kiri, keluar telinga kanan)
Sometimes saying I told you so just wouldnt do.
(Haiz, kawan aku kata ’you must learn to let go, let them pick up their own slack. You did all you can’. Itu saya setuju, Tapi kan, takkan nak biarkan macam bangkai bernyawa sei. kalau situasinya macam satu tahun yang lalu, aku gembira sei tinggalkan tempat ini, tetapi alamak terpaksa lanjutkan pelajaran di sinilah, lantas terpaksalah prihatin tentang kejadian2 di sini)
Lalu, seorang lagi kera tua berkata, ‘kita harus berbincang dan menolong mereka untuk mengelolakan acara2 akhir yang akan datang ini. Mereka, kami dan kamu, semua masih cinta tempat ini. Jadi marilah kita usahakan sama-sama. Tunjukkan mereka yang tinggal bahawa kita di samping mereka’
(Aduhai, semangat betul orang2 lama ini. Kasih betul mereka. Haiz, tapi AKU ini da 4 tahun di tempat ini. Nasihat sudah, turun acara mereka pun sudah, tolong pun ada sak. Tetapi Masih bodoh sombong, degil tak bertempat. haiz, kini masa korang la. Teman seperjuanganku seorang tu yang amat kuhormati telah lama meninggalkan tempat ini, aku rasa aku pun harus ikut, kalo tidak sampai bila sei. Pasti kera2 tua yang lain, yang lebih muda dari aku sedikit akan cuba menolong. Mereka berwibawa. Biarkanlah mereka tolong si kera2 muda itu.)
(Tsk tsk tsk… haiz kalo ketua-ketuanya mendengar nasihat dan tidak bodoh sombong mungkin takkan ginilah jadinya. Tetapi kan takda orang tahu la eh. Tengok sahajalah)
Shall I divulge to you dear awards organiser, the highs that we as an organisation, has achieved the past few years, and the gargantuan efforts needed to reach it. That you blatantly ignored, or worse’ couldnt care less to find out what this organisation has done thus far, with its limited pool of individuals, and with that extra effort needed to convince potential sponsors on the efficacy of our aims.
Yet you decide to honour those who did precious little, if compared to individuals who toiled year in year out. That you in your high perch up that tree of ignorance brazenly say that its a celebration of student achievement in various fields, but yet as I got to know of who actually receive those awards, I could name you 10 individuals from this organisation who did as much, and half of which who definitely did more.
Shall I list down the events that we did and explain to you in detail our achievements, or should you make it your concern to honour those who truly deserves to be honoured. Most of us do what we do with sincerity, but even with sincerity, it wholy unfair to see such lack of effort and blatant ignorance in commending excellence.
I will fight here and now, to try and make sure that you show at least a modicum of effort and fairness, if not for the current warriors of PBMUKS and MS, then for its future. Honour those who deserves to be honoured. Put them on a pedestal along with those who rightly deserves to be positioned there. I will articulate this concern, that’s the least I can do.
Disclaimer: For those who may get the wrong idea, this entry is related to the committee that organised the commencement ceremonies this year and not to any upcoming PBM events. Kindly note.
You know that I’ve always quipped about effort being the numero uno in sustaining friendships or relationships for that matter. And on the 3rd of July that belief held true. At times to friendships need reciprocity, to me theres no such thing as an entity being unconditional. Say if you have that acquaintance that you know, with no basic courtesy to even articulate a simple sms and yet believes in all honesty that passivity is enough, or that all individuals are angelic beings, then adios baby. Your services has been terminated.
But thats just one blip to what was an unexpected but magnificently wonderful 25th birthday. The noon after school, my lady and her girlfriends (hahaha.. maly, hafie, baba, ruzanna and syikin) actually set up a sumptous spread at the area near my home’s bbq pit. The lady had at first said that we were going to go trekking and that I should change up first, hence the command for me to go back home first. But as I entered the condos compound, I saw a fine spread on the table, AND Hafie and Baba scurrying away from a distance…. hahaha… there goes the first attempted surprise. Nevertheless, I am so thankful for the wonderful efforts put in by these coterie of friends, formerly fighters in that now stuttering organisation we call PBM. Some made their way from the far east (albeit its still small, tiny singapore), with all helping out in the wee hours of the morning in Nurul’s kitchen. Ladies, your efforts, are very much appreciated. The funding for the planned bbq and chalet will come soon. After my first pay that is. hahaha… I bankroll, you all plan… hehe.. Tessekur ederim ladies (thank you in turkish)
That was the first chapter for the day. Theres 2 more. The second one is a romantic evening with hot babe, to Sentosa, via our first cable car ride together. As she has rightly said, what was planned there, wouldnt have happened on any other day, as i wasnt interested on going there. hehehe… but suprise suprise, I actually enjoyed our skyride and the luge, both of which was entirely fascinating and enjoyable. Especially the luge, to which a Brit guy, who resides in Malaysia, actually challenged me to a race, and of course Nurul who wanted a race earlier on. Of course the Brit lost, and Nurul was nowhere to be seen, her excuse was that she was blocked by a family. Sore loser I guess.. hehe… By this time, I was already thankful to Nurul, for planning out the birthday outing so well, inclusive of gathering the ladies to help contribute to the birthday effort. I didnt expect anything else. And with that we headed back home, with Nurul telling me that she needed to be back home a bit earlier.
Then comes the final chapter. I stepped into e house, taking off my shirt, revealing a PTI singlet and a stomach 3 months expecting, happy at how things went, and of course with a plastic bag of durian packages in hand. Then I headed to my room, and saw that e aircon was on. I said, “Why my aircon on man?” at the same time looking to my parents who were in the living room. I switched on the lights, and while it was blinking, I saw a guy sleeping on my sofa bad, staring at me with eyes forced wide. Effing hell, I was rooted for a while, before realising that it was Faisal Bo, and at the same sec, I turned around to the sound of “Happy Birthday” and “bantai, bantai”. The JJC bros were there. They ambushed me at my own home, and what a genuine surprise. From the months, that I have berated at the at times general lack of effort, I am gradually and concretely being proven otherwise. From Aliff’s agreement to plan the just ended Redang Trip, to Siddiq’s plan to watch the Euro finals together (of course it ultimately failed in the end, since its siddiq and he got the date wrong) and to this wonderfully planned surprise, the long friendship now seems more and more worth its weight in gold. The chronic times of me or Idil usually planning, will hopefully not be as chronic. Others will chip in. Thus on that very night, as Faizal Bo, Faizal Rawi, Aliff, Idil, Siddiq, Nidzam, Reeza, Nurul and the rest of my family conversed, I felt very much thankful, not only because of the various gifts that was given, nor was it only cos of a birthday celebration, it was a celebration of effort and enduring friendship, that god willing, will continue on for decades to come.
Finally, to my lady, the mastermind for all this, albeit with cameos from individuals here and there; what you have churned out for me is more than I expected and more than I ever thought you would muster. Having 2 suprises in one day, is superb, and in between, the Sentosa interregnum was personal time at its best. Thank you so much for all that youve done and the supreme effort that youve put in. I appreciate it very much. Hands down, a rich mans version of my birthday surprise for you; with, the only difference that, I didnt cry, you did. Everyone can see that you put the best of you in it, and you included also some of the best people in my life into this experience. What more can anyone ask for.
P.S: Not to forget, thank you also to those who extended their well wishes through sms, facebook, msn or verbally. Pictures will come soon (hopefully), since its with Nurul. Baba, ditto to that man. hahahaha
